"how was your trip?!!"

Wonderful. And awful.
Exciting. And exhausting.
Inspiring. And frustrating.
Glad to be home. But I wish I was doing more.

"Welcome home! How was your trip?" Such a simple question to answer when you've been on vacation ... I read three books, we snorkeled, went shopping, I tried (insert exotic dish here) ...

But when you've been on a mission trip, invited into people's lives in their very most vulnerable moments? To say "It was great!" just sounds wrong. But to say "It was awful." isn't right, either.

In this blog -- a term I use loosely! it's more like excessively stream-of-consciousness ramblings on the day's work and thoughts -- I've tried to hit the highlights. I knew many of you would want to know what was going on in Tyler (and in me) on a regular basis; and I knew that the rest of you would read it (or at least skim it!) simply out of loyalty to me and interest in the mission. And y'know, ministers learn to take whatever audience we can get! :-)

Now that I've had two days on 'this side' of the mission, I'll try to put a few 'reflections' in some order for you -- and for me, too!


We are more alike than we are unalike. - - Maya Angelou, author and speaker - -
When people are hurting, they're hurting. Where you came from, what you had, what you lost, what you managed to carry with you ... it doesn't matter. Fear and anger, pain and uncertainty are oblivious to distinctions of class and race and education. Fortunately, most of the time, when offered genuinely and effectively, hope and help and compassion are oblivious to those distinctions, too.


Sometimes you worship the God you have, not the God you want. - - Stephen Colbert, comedian and writer - -
He said it on The Daily Show, sarcastically answering the 'where is God in all this?' question (and mocking D. Rumsfeld's 'you go to war with the army you have...'), but it's stuck with me for the last couple of days. Sometimes we WANT a God who will make things happen, and yet keep other things from happening, all in line with our own personal preferences and schedules, of course. But we HAVE a God who creates us and loves us and wants to be in relationship with us ... and who sets us in the world, freeing us to be in relationship with each other. I think I'm okay worshipping a God like that.


The place where optimism most flourishes is the lunatic asylum. - - Havelock Ellis, 19th c. British psychologist - -
Every day I'd walk in the door and there would be a half-dozen messages, questions, and minor crises flying my way. And a few hours later, those would be solved and there would be a half-dozen more. And yet every day I'd walk in the door and there'd be news of someone else finding a place to live, or a job, or a relative. Dr. Ellis may have been an ocean away, and a century and a half early ... but he did pretty well capturing the reality of relief work in the southern states.


Would you trade it for anything? -- Mark Briley, GCC colleague and friend --
No. Not a thing. Every awful story made every wonderful story more so. The exhaustion each evening came from the excitement of each day. Any frustration with 'the system' made it that much more inspiring when compassion found its way into, through, and frankly sometimes around ' the system'. And yes, my heart is telling me to find what's next in this far-reaching, long-lasting saga, and get moving on it ... but the best place to DO that is back in the arms of the ones who sent me to serve in the first place.


In a letter to the early church in Corinth, Paul tries to help them understand who they are, what they're about, and what their faith -- and their world -- demands of them ... and what that faith not only requires, but empowers, them to do and be:

The point is this: the one who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and the one who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. Each of you must give as you have made up your mind, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver. And God is able to provide you with every blessing in abundance, so that by always having enough of everything, you may share abundantly in every good work. As it is written, "He scatters abroad, he gives to the poor; his righteousness endures forever." He who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will supply and multiply your seed for sowing and increase the harvest of your righteousness. You will be enriched in every way for your great generosity, which will produce thanksgiving to God through us; for the rendering of this ministry not only supplies the needs of the saints but also overflows with many thanksgivings to God. (2Corinthians 9:6-12 )

With many thanksgivings to God, for each of you, for our ministry together, and for the hope and promise of what is to come ...

this is why

~ we work together. ~
Hopefully, we also work with accurate information, decision-making ability, and some sense of organization. Took the mail (a crate-full!) from our shelter and delivered it to the new primary shelter (First Baptist – and honey, we’re talking east TX Baptist church – HUGE) and saw Debra, who had been shelter manager with me 4 days a week, 10 – 12 hours a shift. She said, “This job is getting real old, real fast.” She’s an outstanding manager, who’s been overtaxed by an unorganized system. The kind of person we can’t afford to burn out, but will. Grrr.

~ all those ‘teamwork’ exercises really DO matter. ~
Driving from Tyler back into Dallas (the main evacuation – and therefore return – route), cars right and left, abandoned. Road signs (the kind that are always missing at least 1/3 of the bulbs) saying ‘expect delays on route to Houston’ and ‘fuel shortage on route to Houston’. What is it that makes us panic and horde, instead of panic and band together?

~ when we say ‘community effort’, we mean it. ~
Connie owns an industrial cleaning service and I’d called to schedule a run-through of the building as we finished moving residents into other housing; time to get ‘our house’ in recognizable order again. When I called to confirm yesterday, she said ‘I’d been thinking about you over the weekend. I was wondering how we were going to get your place back together if you were going to have more people headed that way.’ I caught her up saying that we didn’t open for the second wave, we were closing so that others could open for the Rita folks. But that she’d even given it a thought, after a single 3-minute conversation tells me a lot.

~ we have to actually let go if we’re going to give. ~
In delivering furniture on Thursday, we discovered that Faith’s story had reached many corners, and many people had responded. To the point, in fact, that the question came ‘Should we leave the stuff we’re taking? The apartment seems quite full.’ And the answer was yes. Help was requested, help was offered, help will be given.

Much as it raises flags and questions and hackles and whatever else … we are called to give from our abundance to meet another’s need. Period. Whatever our own sense of right, wrong and otherwise may prefer, giving does not come with the right/duty/privilege/responsibility of seeing that ‘they’ use the gift the way ‘we see fit’. If it does, then it isn’t a gift, it’s a condition.

~ We "Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for by doing that some have entertained angels without knowing it." (Hebrews 13:2) ~

Thank you for the use of your church, your time and hard work. - Medical Rangers

During the recent Hurricane Katrina relief operations, several soldiers of the Texas State Guard were honored to be guests at First Christian Church of Tyler. We were humbled by the extraordinary generosity of the people of Tyler in general and the membership of this church specifically. My troops were able to get to know several members as they joined the wonderful volunteer staff of the shelter. The facility your church provided was absolutely first class. We would like to thank this opportunity to thank the Christian leadership of Pastor Wilson and First Christian Church Tyler for providing us with an excellent facility that allowed us to accomplish our mission in comfort. The effort of this church and the volunteers are the very essence of being Christians. Thanks, FCC. - the officer and soldiers of the Texas State Guard, 19th Brigade (Military Police)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Back to Indy, safe and sound. A few more thoughts are rolling around, I want to try to put some closing reflections to this experience ... well, to this phase of the experience. I've a feeling there are many more weeks, and many more opportunities to come.

letters home

It's like having a congregation full of my mother! NOT that that's a bad thing ... in fact, it's the thing that makes HER so happy that I serve where I do. She knows that even though SHE isn't right there to look after me, Y'ALL are doing the looking after just fine. (See, I said y'all -- but really, I always said y'all. I'm warning you. Everyone who's said, You don't sound like you're from Texas, is about to be wrong.)

So - when The Boss calls, you know you'd better update the blog. (No, not Springsteen. Spleth. That Boss.) Evidently no one's looked at a map to see how far inland Tyler is! :-) But let me assure you, all is well here. I'm fine, I promise.

Since Wednesday noon (when FCC's Shelter officially closed), five more shelters have opened in Tyler (12 in a 3-city area, incluing Longview and Jacksonville) for evacuees fleeing in advance of Rita. Story after story of day-long traffic snarls, 36 hours to make a 5 hour trip, etc. ... had to only be compounded by the frustration of seeing the storm take a turn to the east and leave Houston with "only" inches of rain instead of feet.

Shelters here were full within hours of opening, and we continued to have people stop at FCC all day Thursday and Friday, only to have us redirect them to the next open shelter. In the midst of that seeming runaround, though, everyone was quite gracious and appreciative of whatever help we could give ... look, this truck is taking supplies over to Colonial Hills, just follow them ... medical is all going through First Baptist now, go out this main street into downtown, turn left at the Court House and you're there ... I still have mail through this week, after that it goes to the Post Office, two blocks down the road.

And fortunately, thanks be to God, damage -- while significant, particularly and painfully in already hard-hit areas, was less extensive than anticipated. Better to have everyone out and little reason for it, than to have people stay and end up doing 'recovery' and not 'rescue' work.

As for Tyler, the weather last night and today has been wind and rain … just like any good east Texas rainstorm. There was massive hurricane/flood/tornado panic -- lines around the block for gas, not a bottle of water to be found in the store, and police issuing 'stay off the road' warnings all night and this morning. But so far none of that’s played out here in Tyler (or, as far as I know, anywhere else that isn’t immediately coastal). It’s definitely rained for about 16 hours here, and there are some limbs and trees down around town, and one of the churches lost shingles. So, yes, obviously, big storm = damage, BUT nothing much more severe than any other heavy storm would do.

The last of the ‘shifting to a new shelter’ work was done yesterday -- closing down a shelter is nearly as chaotic as getting one opened! Today has been a day of rest; I've slept, let's see, do the math, 14 out of the last, um 21 hours. Tomorrow was already scheduled to be a youth work day ... and BOY oh BOY are they gonna be workin'. Tomorrow and Monday will be getting the CLC put back into recognizable shape, plus Monday is finishing out miscellaneous wrap up with Red Cross and the Church. Tuesday I fly back to Indy and Wednesday I’ll be back in the office.

With the Office of Disciples Volunteering establishing Mission Stations in the gulf coast states, there will be resources and opportunities for mission trips for the next couple of YEARS. I think there's a group ready to take one fairly soon, and TRUST ME WHEN I SAY that if you want to serve, there will be a chance. I assure you.

By the way, the comments here on the blog and the emails I receive every day have been SUCH a delight. It's been great to have you 'with' me on this trip. I'm sure I'll post a couple more days' of notes and reflections ... so until then ...

batten down, barrel through

Yesterday's shelter traffic was folks looking for our residents. "They were just here last night!" I know, I'm sorry for the confusion. Red Cross closed services here this morning. Try having that conversation 25 times without feeling like a louse. Granted, we were ABLE to close - since we also needed to close - because our residents all found alternative housing, but still.

A lot of today's traffic at the shelter was people coming up from the southern coast, knowing (from the news, or another city's Red Cross office, or a local friend or relative) that we were a shelter location and looking for space. And I had to say that this big (now emptying) building was not going to be a shelter anymore. (Tyler opened one yesterday at noon, which is already full. Two more opened today, one was almost full tonight, one halfway. Two more are on call in case they're needed.)

It's been so interesting to see the differences between the way Katrina was addressed (chaos to care in the aftermath) as opposed to the way Rita's chaos seems to be coming on the front end, trying to be prepared. I really believe that Katrina's legacy, even more than the damage the natural disaster imposed, will be the awareness and understanding that the human disaster made essential.

- With the storm still 4 - 5 days away, Red Cross, even in small town Tyler TX, was preparing to open additional shelter locations, and to close the non-essential services (or make other accomodations for them) of the original (Katrina) shelters, freeing Red Cross staff and managers to establish new locations.

- Mayors, disaster management teams, and governors are making more than standard-press-release declarations. People are being TOLD to LEAVE ... AND the cities are providing the means, and are trying to act well in advance.

We're supposed to get lots of rain (like 1 - 2 feet!) and big time wind (50mph, which, y'know, is just a good Texas windstorm, but "they" are saying gusts up to 70!). My flight is out of Dallas on Tuesday, so I guess the main concern is really getting TO Dallas. Shouldn't be as difficult by then, but ... I'm prepared to have a long travel day, just in case.

In the meantime, making SERIOUS progress on getting the building back together. Donations that weren't used are going to new shelter locations. Donations that aren't going to new locations are going to other facilities (who will then supply the shelters as needed). People from the church are donating furniture for two families and that gets picked up - and delivered! - tomorrow. The youth group already had a work project scheduled on Sunday evening, so I get a group of them as my minions - I mean assistants! - to do some repair work just getting the place respectable.

The other legacy -- and I know I keep harping on this, but frankly, I don't know that we can remind ourselves of this too much -- is compassion. The overwhelming ... which is such an underwhelming word for it ... sense of community, of looking-beyond-myself, the sheer giving. The ways people have found to give of themselves. The creativity, the meaning, the passion, the selfless generosity of time, talent and resources.

There's more to it than that ... it's really a God thing, and I'm at a loss for words on it. (Yeah, which is so evident in this blog-slash-novel! Ha!) God is doing amazing things here ... in the lives of people, in the hearts of communities. Even in the midst of horror and tragedy beyond explanation, the goodness of God is living and moving. Just because we can't put words to it doesn't mean it isn't there ...

second verse, same as the first

Nothing like trading one disaster for another ... a hurricane ... a levee collapse ... the failure of resources ... a lack of consistency ... and now another hurricane.

As ironic and hyperkinetic as the 'Rita's coming!' broadcasts have been ... I think (I hope, I pray) that the coverage of Katrina and the pre-Rita buzz have served to convince people who need to leave to actaully leave, AND have social service agencies lining up shelters, services, and systems in advance. Being proactive, how very exciting!

The plan this week -- despite rumors to the contrary! -- has been to have our shelter site (and the Baptists') closed by 10am Friday. Well, it's a little odd, and exciting, to report: we're out early! Yep, let the senior minister splits town and I've got the place shut down and packed up by the time he's back for dinner. :-)

Much as I'd like to take credit, truth is, we were close to being ready already; Rita's looming, and the need for additional shelters looming, prompted Red Cross to punch up the schedule a bit to have Katrina folks 'closed' cases. Arrived at church parking lot this morning ... same time as one fire engine and one police car. Criminy people! Heart attacks run in my family! It's too early in the day for me to keel over in the parking lot! (The fire dep't was picking up the cots to move elsewhere, the police were on duty to relieve the national guard moving on. Whew.)

Volunteers and two shelter managers were already on duty, packing supplies to move to new shelters. All families relocated, transportation arranged, just packed and waiting to go. Spent the ENTIRE afternoon and evening sorting through an office full of paperwork and shelves upon shelves of supplies -- and the next couple of days to get the place reset and a 'recovery plan' in place for the Christian Life Center.

(Four new shelters are being prepared to open as needed in Tyler ... in fact one opened this afternoon, my shelter manager left midday to head that up ... but none of the four sites that have served as Katrina shelters will be expected to double as Rita shelters. Nice thing is, lots of what we have still 'out' can be simply picked up and moved over to the new site.)

As promised, this afternoon our Gulfport woman with 5 kids returns (from yesterday). Her name 'happens to be' Faith. (Of course it does, right, Julie?). We found out (yay for the shelter manager putting this together) that not only is the apt office bilking her by demanding payment up front (deposits are to be waived), they ALSO are charging her full rent (it's supposed to be 2/3 rate for 6 months). Yeah, Teresa leapt on that in a flash.

And? Faith asked for information about the church ... both grandfathers were pastors, and "our family churches are gone, we need a new place to be" ... and she said it feels like she should worship at FCC, since it's the place that's taken care of her.

Today was a big day for gratitude ... for all the temper flares that there have been (I don't care if you're her mother, you can't have her mail ... especially not the checks ... no ... go away) ... everyone who stopped at the desk today -- to collect mail, ask about meals, get directions, leave forwarding info -- offered thanks.

It's so good of you to have done this.
You've really made a difference.
I don't know what we would have done without you.
God bless you for what you've done.

Oh ... I'm fairly sure God already has.

and speaking of circles!

- Come back to New Orleans. No don't.
- We're closing the existing shelters. You're in line to be a Rita shelter. No you're not.
- Go to the shelter and check in. Go to family services and get a hotel voucher.
- You're allowed to stay at the hotel as long as you need to. The manager wants to open up the rooms and wants everyone else out.
- We'll give you a debit card. We'll hand you a voucher. We'll mail you a check.

Honestly. Is it any wonder people are exhausted and frustrated?

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

It seems we are learning some lessons, though. Thank you Jesus.

- People are evacuating Rita-likely cities, well in advance.
- FEMA and Red Cross are lining up shelter sites and relief supply plans.

Asking the 'how did this happen' and 'what can we do' questions are not -- rather, should not be -- political questions. They are literally matters of life and death. Obviously, weather patterns and effects are beyond our control. But, as with every situation in life, how we choose to respond (which sometimes means thinking ahead and being prepared TO respond), is exactly ours to control. It's time we started taking it seriously.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I will throw in here, it's kinda cracking me up, the 'Rita Watch' hysteria. Not that it's not an important thing to keep an eye on ... I'm just saying there must be SOME kind of middle ground between being four days late in responding to a storm and being 10 days early in warning about it. Anyway ...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I met an interesting woman today ... whose name I don't even know, and whose story I'm only piecing together.

She's from Gulfport, a single mother of five (including a set of twins), probably 12 and younger. She was in Houston, and was closed out of a shelter there. Their suburban, including anything they evacuated with, and her identification, was stolen in Houston. Transportation replaced, she ran out of gas in some small East Tx town, called a church for help, the church happened (ha!) to be across the street from the Red Cross office. They got her registered with FEMA and gave her gas money to get here.

The FEMA check? Was mailed to Gulfport. To. Gulfport. Where the storm hit. Where the houses. are. gone. As is the post office. Hello. And the missing check? Will take two weeks to replace.

She makes it to Tyler and finds the Salvation Army, who send her to us. Red Cross isn't registering any more families in shelters, so she goes to Family Services. They have nothing. No clothes, but what they're wearing. No towels, soap, diapers, nothing.

Our meal service was closing for the afternoon, but a volunteer caught the supplies before they left and got them fed, and a few things to take with them. I was standing at the desk trying to make some plans for gathering furniture church members here are donating to help get some of our resettled families started in their new homes.

So - she'll be back tomorrow, hopefully FEMA here having advance-paid (in place of the missing check) the apartment she found. She has a job, shift manager at a Sears down the street. Tomorrow morning she'll get the older kids enrolled in Tyler schools, and the younger ones in child care (available for evacuees while they're getting settled). And! We have furniture for her, even though it's just a little, plus towels and blankets and toiletries to get them started.

This was the big part for me, when I asked what she needed ...
We need everything. Anything. That's what they don't get. They mailed the check to something that doesn't exist. We weren't poor. I did well for us; I was a private photographer for 13 years. We had a beautiful house, right on the beach. And there's nothing. And it's hard on me. But my kids. They've found the toys in the other room, and they're just happy and fine. I just want something better for them.

And none of this was said, or intended, as 'Feel sorry for me and shell out the goodies.' The sound of her voice, and the look on her face, was clearly a woman brought low by life's circumstance ... but not so low that she couldn't ask for help. Sometimes being strong, and independent, and taking care of yourself (and your family) means knowing when you can't do it alone.

(Whew, long post tonight, thanks for hanging in there.)

oh ... for the LOVE!

Well, just when I think it's settling down and we're closing out ... HA. Teach me to speak so soon ... pride goeth... and all that jazz.

Friday night, two guys are picked up at a bar d&d (drunk and disorderly, not dungeons and dragons ). They're both brought back to the shelter, pack their stuff, and away they go.

Sunday morning ... SUNDAY. MORNING. ... fistfight (over cigarettes!) resulting in one broken jaw, one night in jail, and one expulsion from the shelter.

Today. ROTD (rumor of the day) is that Green Acres (the mega-Baptist church ... well, megachurch that's Baptist; I dunno what a mega-Baptist is) is closing down their shelter (the only other one in town besides us) and sending their remaining 58 people over here. On top of our 80 remaining. How. Ever: The Red Cross shelter manager hasn't heard that ... but the National Guard guys are saying they'll be here midweek.

So. It's just consistently inconsistent. Which HAS consistently been the case. :)

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Oh! And! The Goodwill that we've been working with - serving the whole city, and especially our shelter residents - had a fire on Friday night, and lost their entire warehouse. They're closed down for a few days trying to see what they can recover, and will have to gut the place and start over, according to the manager I talked to on Saturday. (Good news here is that none of their staff was injured, they got everyone out, and none of their special needs adults was working that night shift.)

We'd intended to take our remaining donations back to GW at the end of our shelter run anyway -- people of the church, and the entire town, have been so overwhelmingly generous that we have far more in the way of supplies than we can even use for our residents. The plan was that we'd re-donate, and then evacuees who remain in town could go to GW for x period of time (a few months, I think) and pick up whatever else they still need as they resettle, free of charge.

Looks like GW will really NEED our re-donations now, to rebuild THEIR stock.

What a bizarre thing. The manager said her concern in the whole thing was that they weren't going to be able to provide for the Katrina families like they had been ... the whole community is so focused on supporting the new members of the community. It's really quite remarkable ... and as I've said, continues to offset the brawlin' stories that filter through.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Update:

We're getting ONE family (3) who were displaced from the house they'd found (it was a live-here-til-we-sell-it, and it sold), and ONE family (6) who've been living in their van in a town farther east in Tx (Athens). And THAT'S. IT.

I talked to the Red Cross office. And the regional director. BOTH of whom assured me TWICE EACH that we are NOT getting any more residents. Not. No matter what the national guard officer at our door is saying.
- No more residents from the other Tyler shelter.
- No more residents from any other shelters or locations.
- No more residents from any of the cities set to evacuate should Tropical Storm Rita take full shape in these already affected areas. Yes, he's telling people - volunteers and residents - that his 'buddy who's a storm chaser for the Dallas tv station' is saying that Rita's going to end up sending more evacuees here. That may be, but why don't we WAIT to see where it actually FALLS first? Good grief.

Of course, now that local and federal officials are agreeing (how did THAT happen?!) that New Orleans is still not habitable, our folks won't be returning as soon as they'd hoped. But they know our routine and regulations, and we are already caring for them fully here. There is even a job fair tomorrow, and more housing has been secured for families who are applying to stay here in town.

But that guard needs to hush it; it's not like folks need MORE anxiety. I believe the altercations of the last few days suggest that we could use a little more guarding and a little less rumor-mongering. Sheesh. He's 6'6" and packing heat; anyone care to tell him I said so? :-)

as promised: Buckle up.

It's been an interesting few days for us. I was in worship at First Christian this morning (twice! just like at home!) and was able to update them on what's going on right in their backyard (literally):

- Our resident list is about 85 names. That's down from triple digits just a week ago. Overnight last night we had somewhere in the high 50s. Several families travelled to LA and MS, to try to get back into their neighborhoods, to see what is left. We expect most of them back tonight.

- Unfortunately, so far, many of the stories are as bad as you hear on the news. 'You can return to the city, but only this section.' 'You can move to the city, but there's still no electricity, and the water and air are contaminated.' There's nothing left. Nothing to salvage. Nothing even to see. If they could even GET to their neighborhood or business TO see it.

- That said, there is progress. Everyday someone finds a job, lands an apartment, reconnects with family, gets word of something they've been waiting on.

It's a tremendous rollercoaster ...

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

An official statement yesterday indicated that 100,000 people have received federal money to assist with food, clothes, and finding homes and jobs.

That would be news to some of the folks staying with us at First Christian Church.

Actually, it may be true to say that 100,000 people have registered or even been sent said assistance. To say that they've received the assistance, however? Not so much.

And why, you may ask have they not received them? Because the post office is insisting on a signature for each check, with picture ID, from the person to whom the check is being mailed.

Folks have spent HOURS with FEMA and Red Cross (and other) caseworkers filling out REAMS of applications for personal, family, and business insurance and recovery funding.

And now they're spending days out around town, looking for work, for a place to live, for a way and a means to restart their life.

And when they come back to the shelter for the evening, it would be so great to be able to hand them the check with their name on it, so that they can then PAY FOR the place to live, the way to work, etc.

Only I can't give them their check because they weren't there during the day to sign for it.

Hello? Red Tape? Line 1. And 2. And 3.

Obviously I understand the security and identity issues, in theory. But as a friend (well, a friend who was quoting Homer Simpson) once wisely (and all too ironically) said, "In theory, communism works." Okay, maybe that's melodramatic. But so is living in a church gym for three weeks where everything you own -- EVERY. THING. YOU. OWN. -- is in a couple of trash bags shoved under your cot.

There HAS to be a better answer. Revicitimizing the victims by tying their hands, and the hands of those who are trying to help them, does nothing to provide security, nothing to offer hope, nothing to keep the promises their country keeps making to them. Nothing.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Jeff said this morning, "You can get motion sick going in circles looking for who to blame." That is so true. And I think some of our folks are getting that same feeling trying to chase down some plans for themselves and their families. But they're persisting, much to their credit.

Yes, the stories you hear on the news -- or hear that someone else heard on the news, which are my personal favorites -- are sometimes (sometimes!) true. There are people who take advantage of "the system" (which is a term suggesting coordination and organization, and so should be used only loosely in this scenario!). There are people who try to get money they don't need (having not sustained damage). There are people who will try to pick up someone else's mail or check or form. There are people who don't look for work during the day, and spend what money they have received at the local bar and get carted out by authorities for being drunk and disorderly, and who are no longer guests at the shelter.

HOWEVER. How. Ever. There are FAR MORE STORIES of people doing everything they can to find a new life, to build the life they wanted but now have to find elsewhere. There are far more people doing the right thing ... please let those be the stories you attend to, the ones you share, the ones you hold in your heart and memory as the character of this southern Gulf Coastal community that's now becoming part of our communities. We are all one.

random acts

Wow. The last two days have been constant motion. (I've been thrown off my workout schedule, but I'm getting really good at the 100-yard dash from my office in the church to the shelter in the gym!) For those who are wondering, no I haven't gotten much sleep. HOWEVER, I have managed to get a pretty good handle on the situation and I think I've managed to do some good things.

It's been a fairly scattered couple of days, so let me just throw some random observations out here ... maybe you can draw your own profound conclusions while I go take a nap!

> Tonight we have about 90 residents at the Center. That number continues to come down from where it was even a week ago -- which is the goal, right?! This weekend it will vary a little as folks are going to see family who are other places, or get some of their family to other family, or maybe even looking for work somewhere else.

> The day work at the Center has really changed. The first few weeks it was very focused on crowd control, meal service, and case work. Now, the days are actually pretty quiet.
- The kids get on their school buses anywhere from 7:15 - 8:20 and come back around 3:30.
- Most adults are out during the day finding work (or already working) and looking for places to live.
- Family Services (financial assistance, case work) has moved to a centralized location to serve the two remaining shelters (us and Green Acres Baptist Church, which is named for the area of town, not the tv show or the funeral home).

> The people here continue to blow me away.
- The Red Cross shelter managers are really great. They're really getting little in the way of direction or support (that I can see) from Red Cross, but they keep plugging along, and really make it a goal to get services to our clients and try to have them not be our clients any longer than they have to.
- The volunteers continue to show up and say 'tell me what to do.' They don't care if it's holding a baby or taking out the trash, if they're sanitizing cots and mats or driving someone to see their new apartment. They just walk in and say, 'I'm here, put me to work.' Thank God.

> Our residents and guests (people who are coming for meals or services, but have other living arrangements) seem to know that we want to help them, and only a very very few (to answer the question many of us who only know this story from the news, will ask) seem to think that we have to help them.

> Completely and totally random:
- I have a golf-ball sized knot and bruise on my right shoulder. I'm strong, and I can lift things, but when I lift something and simultaneously run into something else, it will leave a mark. :)
- True to form, I've been in east Texas three days, and my twang has returned.
- The church staff has been wonderful and welcoming. And evidently the entire congregation knew I was coming; I've only had to introduce myself by name and people say, "Oh you're the one who came to help from Indianapolis!" (I'm assuming they were told by way of encouragement, not by way of warning!)
- I have never used so much hand sanitizer in my life.
- I'd forgotten just how long I've been away from youth ministry ... and you know what reminded me? Driving a 15 psgr van. HA!

Oooh! And speaking of youth ministers ... Mark and Carrie, I can't wait to meet Morgan Marie. Don't let her get too big in the next 10 days, okay?!

I think I'll wrap up for now. Tomorrow I'm going to clear the cobwebs with a hike through the fitness park, do my rounds with the weekend shelter staff, and make some Goodwill and Salvation Army runs. By then I'll have the brain cells to fire up my rant about bureaucratic frustrations and incompetence. And wow. Their name is Legion. Buckle up!

The most profound moment of the day was about midafternoon. Kids were coming in from school. The tv was on one of the news stations (CNN I think). Six or eight residents (men mostly) were standing and sitting around it. And no one was talking. The story? A report with city and state officials in N.O. and LA, talking abouth which wards in N.O. will be reopened, which parishes will not be. It was quite surreal to observe - I kept walking, didn't want to stop and eavesdrop or intrude - knowing that the people standing in front of me are the people whose lives - and livelihoods - are being discussed as so much anonymous news. It reminds me to be respectful of what I hear, what I do, what I say, and to remember that this is not work, it is service. Big difference. Huge.

(Yes, Mom, I promise to get some sleep this weekend!)

one ground, hit running

That whole "hit the ground running" thing is more than a figure of speech. Okay, I didn't actually run -- I have rules about that! -- but I did manage to cover quite a bit of territory.
Arrived at the church late this morning ... arrived at my room about 8 tonight. I don't anticipate every day being that long ... but I can't anticipate any of them being easy, either.

The condensed version. Okay, more or less condensed (hey, occupational hazard):

the church staff, including:
... Nicky, the most delightful 'first face you see' volunteer. ever.
... Joyce, assistant to the senior minister, who was as helpful and forthcoming as you can imagine, even given what she called (twice) 'the worst day we've had'
... Barbara, associate. hilarious. energetic. total Texas girl. (and sister of country singer Neal McCoy, for those familiar)
... Jeff, senior minister, holding down the church and the shelter, all around incredibly talented -- and charming -- fella.

orientation, by wandering:
... a basketball court full of cots
... a raquetball court filled with clothes
... a dining hall with individually wrapped and served portions, doubling as a homework center
… a computer bank for homework, games, news, communication, business, FEMA applications, finding family
… Texas State National Guard serving as sentries … more or less
… a mass of volunteers all dying to help, only marginally coordinated in doing so


humanity, by observation:
... children being picked and dropped off from school, right in the parking lot of this temporary ‘home’
… Julianna, 30 (if that), here from day one, mother to a couple of her own, spokeswoman for her extended family, and queen bee of the shelter
… Jackie, retired, who not only knows every stitch of clothing in the donation closet, but helps with homework and knows where everything’s stored
... a couple, married on Saturday (and what a honeymoon!), brand-new-wife found a brand new job today
… men talking shelter gossip in the shade; women rocking babies often not their own; children playing basketball, ignoring cots, duffel bags, and often the frowns of the people trying to sleep!

There is incredible work going on here … and it’s just a microcosm of what’s happening around the country. It makes me laugh, and it’s already made me cry, and cringe, and rail at ‘the system’. But there’s this beam of hope that shines through … knowing that no, this isn’t ideal, but it also isn’t permanent. There is housing, there are jobs, there will be a better day ahead.

And in the meantime, there’s the Christian Life Center at First Christian Church in Tyler. Thanks be to God.

shower the people

Always, always loved James Taylor, especially that song … shower the people you love with love … doesn’t that high harmony chorus just make you feel an overwhelming need to wrap your arms around someone you love? Love love love the song … it just never occurred to me I’d be living in the middle of it.

It has been absolutely amazing, the overwhelming support and affection the last 36 hours have brought to bear.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

My tasks have continued to change, and I haven’t even arrived yet! Talked with Jeff this morning, who was debating last night whether to call me and report that overnight lodgers had been processed down to several dozen; he was wondering whether I should still come, where I would be most needed.

And then this morning, before he could call me, he received a call. The other (smaller) shelters in Tyler are being closed by the EOC, and their residents processed over to FCC … tomorrow. morning. Probably more on the way. And another 200 sheltered at the Disciples camp in Athens (an hour-ish from Tyler). Safe to say: He’s not wondering anymore!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~

One risk in doing this kind of work – not just ministry (although that, too), but specifically this specialized mission and service kind of work – is that ‘servants’ run the risk of getting the attention, when it’s really the issue, the task, and most significantly, the people that should be most closely considered.

Many years ago, in a prayer before a sermon I can’t recall (sorry, preacher friends, but we all know it’s true!), Zan Holmes offered words I have long remembered and often repeated, “Hide me in the shadow of your cross. And whether through me, or in spite of me, may your Word be known.”

There is this amazing current of faith, and a deep stream of love and commitment, just pouring from the heart of God’s people at Geist Christian, and friends and family across the country. Obviously the memory of this event will never be erased, but I pray so desperately that the waves of pain can eventually give way to the tides of compassion.

My hope is that this is but the beginning of a greater awareness of the need – the daily, urgent, real NEED – here, ‘there,’ and everywhere. There is always someone somewhere, standing on their own kind of car or rooftop, desperately waving a sign or rigging a flag and crying out “Help us! We’re dying!” We can’t let the flood take them all. We. simply. can’t.

call it what you will

Grace. Luck. Fortune. Blessing. Providence. Call. Spirit.


Since September of 1996, I have served in the most remarkable congregation ... ever. It would take days and days and fill blogs and blogs and then some ... but let me give you the examples that, in the last 24 hours, have reminded me again and again of how {call it what you will} has shown itself to me.

> It took one phone call each to cover 2-3 weeks' teaching responsibilities for four different bible studies. T put it best, "It seems like this is how I can do my part; teaching, so you can go do yours."

> Emails and phone calls (and countless of both) of prayer, thanks, help, excitement, pride, hope.

> Offers to cut grass, collect mail, check the house, take the car, ride to and from the airport, send supplies, come with me.

> In 10 days of collecting contributions for Week of Compassion, $17,000 received. That was BEFORE this weekend. AND ... people literally handing me money, "take this with you in case you need it."

> With no more than five minutes of my sharing 'here's what I'll be doing for two weeks,' and those five minutes being a guess AT BEST, at least a half-dozen people told me "I can be there in day," or "I can be there for a 4-day weekend."

> Database list to date: 45 people or groups who've offered shelter for displaced persons, assistance with counseling and pastoral care, and/or participation in clean-up and rebuilding mission trips when the time comes. Again ... BEFORE this weekend.

> Staff colleagues whose first reaction is, "Oh how wonderful ..." (And I don't think they mean "... that you're leaving for two weeks.") (I don't think they do!)

This morning's sermon, 'God Chatter: in public,' (sermons are posted to the church site usually by midweek, DO check it out) and how Hurricane Katrina is NOT ... hear me, NOT ... an 'act of God.' True, true, amen and amen.

I will continue to say, though -- and if you were in 10:30 service this morning, you already heard me say it, but at least pretend to be surprised and newly impressed here: The undeniable acts of God I have seen have been through each and every person in our congregation: acts of generosity, and love, and compassion, and faithfulness, and hope ... beyond measure.

Beyond. Measure.

the thing to do

I've started this entry a half-dozen times today. And had actually thought I'd be starting it a few days before now ... but as has been the case with so much in the last 10 days, things change with a moment's notice.

Tuesday afternoon I'll be on my way to Tyler, Texas for two weeks. Two hours east of Dallas, six hours (and change) northwest of New Orleans. One of our sister congregations there has a Family Life Center ... that is giving new meaning to each of those words, each day.

We're serving 300 to 500 people three meals a day, Jeff said. 150 - 200 are staying the night. We've had to give armbands to our residents, and to our people, our volunteers, for security. It's just chaos. There are people doing meals, and we have clothing to distribute, and people getting medical attention. I have a feeling that Red Cross will be gone in a week, at the end of their '21 day' policy. Plus we have our own congregation to care for, and we're already down two staff as it is.

Jeff was a member here at Geist ten or more years ago (before I got here), and was on denominational staff when Ann was the national executive in our domestic ministries office. He was somewhere else between here and there, but has been at Tyler several years. So not only is this a ministry that's in need of some dedicated labor, it's a great connection for us ... a sister congregation in which we have some deep family ties.

At midnight Tuesday I had an email asking me to come to Austin, to be Red Cross trained and certified as a caseworker, and spend a few weeks with a clergy group there processing evacuees in Austin shelters, helping them connect to social services, and then helping to replicate the program in San Antonio, Houston, Dallas. By Wednesday morning, I had the go-ahead from my sr min, and then (due to federal agencies coming in to the four major TX towns and making it priority to hand out vouchers and clear the shelters, regardless of available options from there -- or lack of) by Thursday morning had been off-again, on-again, off-again.

Being in daily contact with Johnny and the Week of Compassion office in the last week, I said I had the go-ahead and was ready to do what I could, so if I was needed somewhere else say so. Nothing nothing nothing then ... last night two quick contacts.

This morning a phone call from Jeff: If you can come, we can use you.

By 6:00 tonight, I had two conversations with my sr min, a plane ticket, a personnel committee chair saying he thinks it's great, colleagues who've said tell me what I can do while you're gone, a lay leader who's taking on the start up of a study group saying sure that will work fine and (most significantly) we'll be praying for you, and my mother saying (and meaning, even amid worrying, which is her job!) I'm so glad you're getting to do this, I'm so proud of you, let me know if there's anything I can do from here.

It's weird -- I have NO. IDEA. what I'll be doing when I get there. The intent at present is for me to be the liaison between the 'daytime' pieces ... meals, clothes, meds, jobs, housing. There are volunteers doing each of those things ... or city agencies coming in and connecting to the people there (since that makes more sense, what with folks being AT the shelter and all). But if you're there doing meals all day, you don't necessarily know (or need to, or find/make the time to) what's going on in the other pieces of relief and support. But SOMEONE needs to know what all the pieces are doing. Maybe that someone is going to be me.

And if Red Cross is pulling out a week from today, that would give me a week to shadow that person -- which, apparently, is no longer the primary RC guy who's been there.. (Jeff said, 'the good one was pulled back to hq to work the bureaucracy, of course, since he's the one who knows what he was DOING.') And then another week to "be" that person. By which point, either enough folks will be processed OUT of the shelter that it will be more manageable given the volunteers and staff the church has, OR the church will be at the point of having someone else moving into the liaison role. So I'll be the interim, I guess.

ALL OF WHICH, of course, could change the moment I hit the ground. Which both scares the living bejeebers outta me ... and really really excites me. As long as it's more of the latter and less of the former, I guess I'm in good shape!

This is one of those things where everyone ... everyone ... I know has said, 'I hate sitting here and watching. I want to do something, anything.' And where I've actually been asked TO do something that I CAN do.

At least I hope I can.